Father’s or Partner’s Role

• Help your wife/partner develop a postpartum plan.
• Make decisions together.
• Consider the assistance of a postpartum doula.
• Accompany mom and baby to all postpartum doctor visits.
• Get involved with the shopping, cooking and meal planning.
• Help the siblings at home adjust to the baby and their changing roles.
• Make sure mom and baby are taken care of.
• Support your wife/partner if she is breastfeeding.
  • Encourage her while she and baby learn to breastfeed.
  • Schedule an outpatient appointment with the breastfeeding support program.
• Talk to your dad or another older father about what it was like when he first became a father. 
• Talk with your wife/partner about her expectations of you as a father.
• Identify a sitter that both you and mom trust then plan regular “date nights” together. 
• Buy and read a book on child development.
• Play with your child every day.
• Regularly talk to your wife/partner about your child’s intellectual, physical and emotional development.
• Sign up for an infant CPR class; educate yourself on how to detect illness and how to handle medical emergencies.
• Remember you cannot do it all! Ask for help.

Help the family continue to communicate and work together.

• Schedule time to just “be together” as a family or to be with individual family members.
• Decide together what you are going to do during that time. Remember that the time together is more important than the activity.
• Save plenty of energy for family time.
• Take the time to notice the exciting things your baby is learning.
• Spend quality time with your older children.
• Teach your older children how to “gently” play with the new baby.
• Talk to your baby early and often; this is your newest family member.

Establish a support team of family members and friends.

• Your primary “teammate” is your wife/partner.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help.
• Feeling jealous and left out is normal.
• Share your feelings with her.
• Talk to other fathers who have been through similar experiences.

Be patient.

• Fathering an infant involves sacrifice and requires patience.
• Remember your wife/partner may be exhausted from giving birth and may be the least responsive she will ever be.
• Be prepared to put some things on “hold,” especially eight hours of sleep.
• Maintain a sense of humor.

Remember to nurture your needs.

• Rest as needed. Taking care of yourself is the best way to have the extra energy you need to be a new dad.
• If your job permits, take time off work after the baby is born.
• Accept help from friends and relatives.
• Continue to eat a healthy diet and resume your regular physical activities.

Bond with your baby often.

• Demonstrate affection with touch.
• Hold and kiss your baby often.
• Talk to your baby in a soft, steady voice while showing the baby your face.
• Pick up and hold your baby close to you.
• Sing or hum to your baby.
• Take your baby for a walk in a stroller.
• A healthy bond will give your baby great security now.